Mad Macedonian

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Because it was bored?

If only it were that simple. ;-D

Johnathan Pearce, of Samizdata, speculates on the answers to this question if asked of American politicians, journalists, preachers, Literary, and TV characters, and celebrities.

This, of course, set off the readership on a quest to speculate on what similar worthies, from around the world, and throughout history, would say, in the comments.

To hilarious, thought provoking, effect. 

I could not resist joining in the fun. ;-D

Baroness Emmuska Orczy:

We seek the Chicken here, We seek it there,
McDonalds seeks her everywhere.
Is it on this side of the road? -- Is it on that side?
That demmed, elusive Chicken?

William Learned Marcy: I see nothing wrong in the rule that to the Chicken belongs the right to cross the road.

Lady Caroline Lamb: ( Of wanting to know why Chickens cross the road ): Mad, Bad, and Dangerous.

Ludwig (Josef Johann) Wittgenstein [When asked the question]: What we cannot speak about, we must pass over in silence.

Knute Rockne: Show me a Chicken who DIDN'T want to cross the road, and I'll show you a failure.

Robert Benchley: A great many people have come up to me and asked me why Chickens cross the road. My answer is "Don't you wish you knew?"

Duke Ellington: It don't mean thing.

Morrie Ryskind (Who lives on the other side of the road): The other morning I shot a Chicken in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.

Robert Emmet Sherwood: The trouble with chickens is, they belong to a tasty breed. Maybe it was a smart chicken.

Golda Meir: Chickens only want that which is given naturally to all, to be masters of their own fate, only of their fate.

Louis Armstrong: Man, if you gotta ask you'll never know.

God Bless Bartlett's Familiar Quotations! ;-D

Because it was bored?

If only it were that simple. ;-D

Johnathan Pearce, of Samizdata, speculates on the answers to this question if asked of American politicians, journalists, preachers, Literary, and TV characters, and celebrities.

This, of course, set off the readership on a quest to speculate on what similar worthies, from around the world, and throughout history, would say, in the comments.

To hilarious, thought provoking, effect. 

I could not resist joining in the fun. ;-D

Baroness Emmuska Orczy:

We seek the Chicken here, We seek it there,
McDonalds seeks her everywhere.
Is it on this side of the road? -- Is it on that side?
That demmed, elusive Chicken?

William Learned Marcy: I see nothing wrong in the rule that to the Chicken belongs the right to cross the road.

Lady Caroline Lamb: ( Of wanting to know why Chickens cross the road ): Mad, Bad, and Dangerous.

Ludwig (Josef Johann) Wittgenstein [When asked the question]: What we cannot speak about, we must pass over in silence.

Knute Rockne: Show me a Chicken who DIDN'T want to cross the road, and I'll show you a failure.

Robert Benchley: A great many people have come up to me and asked me why Chickens cross the road. My answer is "Don't you wish you knew?"

Duke Ellington: It don't mean thing.

Morrie Ryskind (Who lives on the other side of the road): The other morning I shot a Chicken in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.

Robert Emmet Sherwood: The trouble with chickens is, they belong to a tasty breed. Maybe it was a smart chicken.

Golda Meir: Chickens only want that which is given naturally to all, to be masters of their own fate, only of their fate.

Louis Armstrong: Man, if you gotta ask you'll never know.

God Bless Bartlett's Familiar Quotations! ;-D

So THAT'S what happened to the Old Family Wheels!

Archaeologists have unearthed an elaborately decorated 1,800-year-old chariot sheathed in bronze at an ancient Thracian tomb in southeastern Bulgaria, the head of the excavation said Friday.

"The lavishly ornamented four-wheel chariot dates back to the end of the second century A.D"

No doubt that "Limousine" once belonged to an ancestor of mine. ;-D

My roots on my Fathers side go back into Bulgaria/Macedonia, afterall. ;-D

Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches for McCain/Palin!

In recent days Presidential Candidate Barack Hussein Obama, aka The Chosen One, and The Messiah, tried to use food in his stump speeches attacking  his Republican opponents John McCain, and Sarah Palin.

As you might expect this didn't exactly go over very well in many Refridgerators and Kitchens, or on many Super Market shelves across the Fruited Plains.

How do I know this?

Let me explain...

Earlier today I was shopping at my local Ralphs, in Orange, deep in the heart of Conservative Orange County (For you folks in Rio Linda....that's in Southern, not NORTHERN California.)...

Just prowling up and down the rows looking for deals, and checking off my shopping list, like the good bachelor cook that I am when, passing the Peanut Butter, and Jelly displays, I heard an urgent whisper from among the jars of Skippy, and Smuckers!

"Hey, Mad One, over here!", the voice called to me.

Looking around to make sure no-one else was in the aisle with me, I realized where the voice was coming from and walked toward it with curiosity.

"We have seen you around here before, and having seen you wearing American Flag Shirts, and Pins, and seeing the Conservative nature of some of the books you have with you on your visits, and your shirts plugging your website, my compatriots and I figured you were the best person to help get our message out, " the voice continued.

Feeling a bit silly to be talking to jars of Peanut Butter and Jelly, not to mention afraid someone might actually see me doing so, I asked... "What message is that?"

"We have learned that one of your candidates for President has used food as a verbal prop in some of his most recent stump speeches, and we take strong exception to this, especially since we are among the ones so exploited, without consultation to see if we agreed to such usage."

"And where, exactly do I come in?", I asked.

"We think you are just the person to get word out to the American Voter, before it is too late, that the Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches they love so much take exception to being used as propaganda tools by Liberals, and Socialists."

And so, that is how I came to create the above Campaign Ad. ;-D

The 2 Sandwiches above, as required by custom, and possibly law as well, would like to make clear...

THE PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICHES FOR MCCAIN/PALIN COMMITTEE APPROVE, AND ARE SOLELY RESPONSIBLE FOR, THE CONTENT OF THIS MESSAGE!

NOTE - The Books used in the Ad are as follows:

1. THE FEDERALIST by Alexander Hamilton, James Madison, and John Jay: Conservative Leadership Series Edition.

2. THE FEDERALIST: The Library of American Freedoms Edition.

3. ALEXIS DE TOCQUEVILLE - Democracy in America: Library of America Series #147.

4. THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION - Writings from the War of Independence: Library of America Series #123

5. THOMAS JEFFERSON - Writings: Library of America Series #15.

6. ABRAHAM LINCOLN - Speeches and Writings 1859-1865: Library of America Series #46.

***UPDATE - 11/2/08 1210AM***

At 1130pm, last night, THIS post, and Blog, were explored for 17min 50sec. by someone in Wasilla, Alaska, and for 4min 55sec by someone in Washington DC...

While my stats don't say WHO those kind, interested, folks were, I don't want to take any chances, and seem rude, and unappreciative of their interest...

So, just in case...

Dear Palin Family Member, and President Bush (or Vice President Cheney???):

Thank you so very much for taking the time to pay my humble establishment a visit at this very busy time in your lives.

It is much appreciated.

***END UPDATE***

*** 11/2 - HEARTFELT THANK U'S TO THOSE GETTING THE WORD OUT ABOUT THIS IMPORTANT CAMPAIGN DEVELOPEMENT***

1. Emperor Misha, the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiller, High Poobah of the Ancient and Powerful Rottweiller Empire (Ally of The Very Right Wing Conspiracy), even though he seems to be laboring under the misconception that this is NOT a Legitimate, and possibly, game changing, news event. ;-D

Free the Natanz 2! Pigeons Accused of Spying on Iranian Nuke Plant

This just in from BreitBart:

One of the pigeons was caught near a rose water production plant in the city of Kashan in Isfahan province, the report cited an unnamed informed source as saying, adding that some metal rings and invisible strings were attached to the bird.

"Early this month, a black pigeon was caught bearing a blue-coated metal ring, with invisible strings," the source was quoted as saying of the second pigeon.

No word yet on the fate of the birds.

Wonder how Amagonnaeatthemfordinner will use this for propanganda purposes in his ongoing quest to disrupt US efforts in Iraq and Afghanistan?

NOTE: To learn about the guest star of my little poster go here... CHER AMI: A True American Hero. ;-D

McCain Unsure How Many Pairs of Underwear He Owns

Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) said in an interview Wednesday that he was uncertain how many pairs of Shorts he owns.

"I think — I'll have to get back to you," McCain told Politico in Las Cruces, N.M. "That's a conundrum there — I'll have take an inventory."

The correct answer is at least 20, which he takes with him where ever he travels, including to his homes located in Arizona, California and Virginia, according to his staff.

And a Politico analysis, assisted by the able staff of the National Enquirer, later in the day found McCain owns at least eight different styles, according to interviews with people who claim to know the cleaning staff of his homes.

In recent weeks, Democrats have stepped up their effort to caricature McCain as living an outlandishly rich lifestyle — a bit of payback to the GOP for portraying Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) as an elitist, and for turning the spotlight in 2004 on the 75 pairs of Speedos rumored to be owned by Sen. John F. Kerry (D-Mass.).

Pro-Obama mens clothing manufacturing workers have sent out mailers highlighting McCain’s taste in clothes, and prominent Democrats have included references to this in comments to reporters.

Twice in the past two weeks those Democrats have focused on McCain’s wardrobe.

Sen. Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) told Politico’s Ben Smith that it was McCain “who wears $500 shoes, has six dozen pairs of socks and comes from one of the most wardrobe rich families in his state."

And David Axelrod, Obama’s chief strategist, referred in an interview with Adam Nagourney of The New York Times to an imagined meeting of McCain clothing designers “on the portico of the McCain estate in Sedona — or maybe in one of his other homes.”

The Obama campaign seized on the Underwear issue Thursday with an ad called "44," (A subtle reference to the Office the 2 candidates are running for?) claiming that's the number of Shorts McCain has. The ad closes with a shot of a size 44 (Re-inforcing the 1st reference more flagrantly?) pair of Red (For Republican, wink, wink?) Hanes Brand with a Presidential Seal on its bottom side, and the narration: "Here's ONE pair of Underwear Americans can't afford to let John McCain slip into."

McCain spokesman Brian Rogers said in response: "Does a guy who made more than $4 million last year, just got back from vacation on a private beach in Hawaii and bought his own million-dollar mansion with the help of a convicted felon really want to get into a debate about Male Underwear? Does a guy who worries about the price of arugula and thinks regular people 'cling' to guns and religion in the face of economic hardship really want to have a debate about who’s in touch with regular American men and the Underwear they prefer?

“The reality is that Barack Obama’s, and the Democrats, fixation on the clothing choices of John McCain show he, and they, are completely out of touch with the concerns of average Americans.”

At a campaign appearance in Chester, Va., on Thursday morning, in which he again refused to discuss his choice for Vice President, Obama said: "Somebody asked John McCain, 'How many pairs of Underwear do you have?’ And he said, I’m not sure. I’ll have to get back to you. True quote: I’m not sure, I’ll have to get back to you. So they asked his staff and he said, at least 20. At least 20! ...

"If you’re like me and you’ve got only 2 pair of Shorts – or you were like the millions of men who are struggling right now to keep what few pairs of Shorts they own clean — you might have a different perspective. By the way, the answer is: John McCain has 44 CLEAN pairs of Underwear. So there’s just a fundamental gap of understanding between John McCain's world and what people are going through every single day here in America."

Read the full story at Politico.com. ;-D

Guilty!

What would the RCLU say about THIS? ;-D

THE MAD MACEDONIAN

WANTED FOR THE TIRELESS GROPING of an INTELLECTUAL REFRIGERATOR

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March 5, 1960 was an important day in my life... and quite a few other folks lives, too, it appears.

Amazing stat to think about. ;-D

Soooo...Anyone important, and famous,  die on my Birthday in the last 48 years? In the centuries before I entered the world?

Here's a list from the above website, and my favorites.

Unusual Deaths in 1960

• Baritone leonard warren collapsed on the stage of the new york metropolitan opera of a major stroke during a performance of la forza del destino. according to legend, the last line he sang was "morir? tremenda cosa." ("to die? a tremendous thing.") however, witnesses say he was just past that aria and his actual last line was "gioia, o gioia!" (joy, oh joy!)

• In the nedelin disaster, over 100 soviet missile technicians and officials died when a switch was turned on unintentionally igniting the rocket, including red army marshal nedelin who was seated in a deck chair just 40 meters away overseeing launch preparations. the events were filmed by automatic cameras.

People who died on March 05 (various years)

1953 and 1963 were particularly good, and interesting, years. ;-D

• 2006 - Richard Kuklinski, American Mafia hit man
• 2004 - Walt Gorney, American actor
• 2000 - Lolo Ferrari, French actress
• 1999 - Richard Kiley, American actor
• 1997 - Samm Sinclair Baker, American diet author
• 1996 - Whit Bissell, American actor
• 1995 - Gregg Hansford, Australian motorcycle and touring car racer
• 1995 - Vivian Stanshall, English musician (Bonzo Dog Band)
• 1993 - Cyril Collard, French author and filmmaker 
• 1990 - Gary Merrill, American film actor
• 1988 - Alberto Olmedo, Argentine comedian
• 1984 - William Powell, American actor
• 1984 - Tito Gobbi, Italian baritone
• 1982 - John Belushi, American actor
• 1981 - Yip Harburg, American lyricist
• 1980 - Winifred Wagner, German opera producer
• 1980 - Jay Silverheels, Canadian actor
• 1977 - Jansen Van Vuuren, Dutch volunteer safety marshall at the 1977 South African Grand Prix
• 1977 - Tom Pryce, Welsh Formula One driver
• 1974 - Sol Hurok, Russian-born impresario
• 1974 - Billy De Wolfe, American actor
• 1967 - Georges Vanier, Governor General of Canada
• 1966 - Anna Akhmatova, Russian poet
• 1965 - Pepper Martin, American baseball player
• 1965 - Chen Cheng, Chinese politician
• 1963 - Hawkshaw Hawkins, American singer
• 1963 - Cowboy Copas, American singer
• 1963 - Patsy Cline, American singer
• 1955 - Antanas Merkys, President of Lithuania
• 1953 - Herman J. Mankiewicz, American screenwriter
• 1953 - Joseph Stalin, Georgian leader of the Soviet Union
• 1953 - Sergei Prokofiev, Russian composer
• 1947 - Alfredo Casella, Italian composer
• 1945 - Lena Baker, American murderer
• 1944 - Max Jacob, French poet and writer
• 1940 - Cai Yuanpei, Chinese educator
• 1931 - Fr. Arthur Tooth SSC, Anglican Clergyman prosecuted and imprisoned for ritualist activities
• 1927 - Franz Mertens, German mathematician
• 1926 - Clément Ader, French aviation pioneer
• 1925 - Johan Jensen, Danish mathematician
• 1907 - Friedrich Blass, German classical scholar
• 1903 - George Francis Robert Henderson, British soldier
• 1895 - Henry Rawlinson, British soldier and scholar
• 1895 - Nikolai Leskov, Russian writer
• 1893 - Hippolyte Taine, French historian (b. 1828
• 1876 - Marie d'Agoult, German-born writer
• 1849 - David Scott, Scottish painter
• 1829 - John Adams, last surviving HMS Bounty mutineer
• 1827 - Alessandro Volta, Italian physicist
• 1827 - Pierre-Simon Laplace, French mathematician
• 1815 - Franz Mesmer, Austrian developer of hypnotism
• 1778 - Thomas Arne, English composer
• 1726 - Evelyn Pierrepont, 1st Duke of Kingston-upon-Hull, English politician
• 1695 - Henry Wharton, English writer
• 1622 - Ranuccio I Farnese, Duke of Parma
• 1611 - Shimazu Yoshihisa, Japanese warlord and samurai
• 1592 - Michael Coxcie, Flemish painter
• 1539 - Nuno da Cunha, Portuguese governor in India
• 1534 - Antonio da Correggio, Italian painter

Yakko for President!!

The Animaniac character gives a glorious tour of the nations of the world (Cold War Era Roster.)!

I laughed until I cried! ;-D

Animaniacs - Yakko World Country Song

National Academy for the Study of UFOs Confirms Existence of UFO Chromosome in Humans

WERE YOUR ANCESTORS BEAMED DOWN BY ALIENS?  

There is new evidence that just may help Genealogists, worldwide, solve this particular Brick Wall in their research.

Scientists at The National Academy for the Study of UFO's have recently confirmed the existence of the "UFO chromosome."   

While most genealogists are aware of the x chromosome, passed from one female generation to the next, and the y chromosome, from which it is possible to determine descent in an uninterrupted male lineage from a common ancestor, the "UFO chromosome" had previously been only speculation.   

Working with DNA recovered from the aliens of the Roswell, New Mexico crash, the scientists have discovered the "UFO chromosome" is also present in some humans.   

This discovery confirms that aliens have been breeding with humans for centuries, and
beaming their progeny back to earth.

For the "low" price of $10,000, they will test your DNA to see if you possess the "UFO chromosome."   

While the test will not tell WHICH ancestor had the "UFO chromosome," there are several ways to identify that ancestor.

For those ancestors to conceal their identity:

1.   They moved every few years, never spending long at one location.

2.   They were the only person of that surname in the county.

3.   The county clerk who was also an alien, assured that your ancestor's marriage bond would "accidentally" be lost, their deeds set aside   and never recorded, and their entire probate file would turn up "missing" even though indexes say it once existed.

4.   The census taker would either not list them, OR he would list them twice, with sleight differences, causing quarrels among descendants whether they are the same person or not.

5.   The family Bible was sent "west" with the youngest unmarried daughter, where she married a "Mr. Smith."

6.   The family cemetery was sold to outsiders, who used the headstones to make a sidewalk.

7.   The church they joined did not believe in recording vital statistics.

8.   They started rumors of how they were related to someone famous, causing   descendants to search the wrong family.

9.   They started rumors of how they were born in England, arrived in Virginia with two brothers (one of whom was born in France, the other in Sweden).   To conceal their identity, one brother moved to Georgia, the other to Maine, while they remained in Virginia.

10. And, when all else failed and they were about to be discovered, the county courthouse would "accidentally" burn.

If you can prove your ancestor was beamed down by aliens, Halbert's of Bath,Ohio has recently prepared a family history of the Alien family, complete with the Alien coat of arms, which you will be proud to display over your fireplace.

All available evidence indicates that this story was apparently first made public, in 2000, by a Fredric Z. Saunders, and began making the rounds of Genealogy Message Boards soon thereafter, especially by the spring of 2001, still popping up occasionally even today.

The great mystery is why the Mainstream Media did not pick up the story, and run with it, and why Hollywood, considering the popularity of certain Sci-Fi films as far back as the 1950's, didn't secure the rights to make a film related to the subject.

It's a given that Government Agencies would stay mum on the subject of this report, of course. ;-D

Just in case you haven't figured it out it...yet, this story is my way of spreading the word about being aware of Genealogy Scams on the Internet (And clue you in on some really cool websites for Family Roots Digger-Uppers, too!).

Happy hunting! ;-D

Food: It's the F-Word the Whole World Gets Most Worked Up About

From vending machines to fast food joints, from the fields to Farmer's Markets, from supermarket shelves to the Breakfast and Dinner Table everyone has the F-word on their lips:

Scene:  A Kitchen in a typical middle-class American home.  The table is occupied by a man, a woman, a baby, and a male and female teen.  Looking in the windows, from outside, are various figures representing farmers, retailers, environmental/animal activists, media and politicians, including Presidential Candidates, and scientists who want to investigate and modify every living thing. Whenever the word "Food" is repeated, these observers begin singing and/or chanting.

Man:	Will you say grace, dear.
Wife:	Good bread, good meat, Dear Lord please bless what we are about to eat.
Man:	Amen!
Teens:	Amen!
Man:	Well, what've you got?
Wife:	Well, there's eggs and bacon; sausage and hash browns; peanut butter and jam;  Bread, oatmeal, coffee, orange juice, milk, and spam. Take your pick, its all good food.
Observers:	Food food food food...
Wife:	...Food that is tasty, nourishing...
Observers:	Food! Lovely food! Lovely food!
Wife:	...it cost me more than last month when I went shopping, even using coupons!
Teen Son:	Can I have $10 to go to Burger King? I don't feel like eating this food.
Man:	Well, there's healthy food, then there's fast food, and we have this food, so eat your food.
Teen Daughter:	I don't want ANY of this food!
Teen Son:	Why can't we have Burger King food?
Wife:	THAT'S food that's got too many calories!
Man:	Our food hasn't got as much calories in it as fast food, right?
Observers:	Food food food food... (Crescendo through next few lines...)
Wife:	Could you pass me the margarine and bread?
Teens:	Urgghh!
Wife:	What do you mean 'Urgghh'? It's good food!
Observers:	Lovely food! Wonderful food!
Family:	Shut up!
Presidential Candidates:	Lovely food! Wonderful food!
Wife:	Shut up! (Candidates stop) Damn retailers, health nuts, scientists, and politicians! You can't have food of any type without someone trying to scare you about the food.
Teens:	We don't want this food!
Man:	Sshh, kids, don't cause a fuss. I'll have more of this food. I love it. We're having this food EVERY morning!
Observers:	Food food food food. Lovely food! Wonderful food!
Wife:	Shut up!! Look the baby has nodded off.
Man:	Well, wake him up, and give him HIS food!
Wife:	(Awakening the baby, and cooing in a loving voice) Here, little one, here's your food food food food food food... (The baby giggles as the teens try to leave the table, but it is too late as the observers enter the kitchen, blocking the door)
Observers:	Food food food food. Lovely food! Wonderful food! Food fo-o-o-o-o-d food fo-o-o-o-o-d food. Lovely food! Lovely food! Lovely food! Lovely food! Lovely food! Food food food food!