52 years ago, earlier this month, I poked my head into this world at around 830am, and the other day I shared some thoughts going forward, and this is a follow-up to that post.
Has fear played a role in what I have, and have not, accomplished as a writer, and blogger?
Afraid I'm not good enough, or knowledgeable enough, fear of failure, fear of trying something new?
Fear of not being accepted?
Maybe a little.
I love myself, and who I am!
I love my talent as a writer, amateur journalist, PJ Pundit, poet, humorist, and storyteller!
That love will conquor all my fears, and allow me to move forward creatively.
My life is difficult at the moment: No job, recovery from a broken ankle still in progress, no real social life, not much support, and networking, developed, related to my writing, but I feel there is opportunity for growth, and prosperity, and success, personally, and creatively, amidst all this, if I can only recognize it, learn new ways to attract readers, network, and create, and take advantage of it.
Writing is the right thing for me to do, and I believe a creative path will emerge that will show me the way I need to go, even as I may find an appropriate, good paying, job not related to my writing skills.
By being joyfully creative about what I do I can stop worrying about what others think of this blog, or Meowsings, and focus on creating the best material I know how.
As I do so, and more people become aware of it, the traffic, and new creative opportunities (Even maybe Self-Publishing my own books?), will come my way.
If I have poems, stories, opinions, essays, and reports to write, as myself, as Nikita, or Elvira, then I need to write them whether others actually read them or not. I will create what wants to be created. As a writer my self-respect comes from doing my writing, one blog post, one poem, one story, at a time. I recognize the particular. I appreciate the peculiar. I acknowledge the astonishing. I am happier when writing than when not. God made me creative. My creativity is a Gift from God. My use of it is my gift back to God.My credibility as a writer lies with me, God, and what I write, and create.
To live long, and prosper, personally & creatively, I must regain my health. That means losing 30 lbs., and getting my ankle, and maybe even the rest of my body, in better shape, and eating healthier, including learning to cook more at home for myself! :-D
This allows me to build a strong, and clear, mind to use in my creative endeavors.
Pumping my bicycle rhythically, and repetively, I also pump the well of my creativity.
When I bike I have a sense not only of my own motion, but also of the motion of God through the universe.
I extend myself, and learn to tap into an inner creative resource.
I also love to walk. I feel at liberty , roaming the city streets, and I gather food for though, and creative inspiration.
Trusting in my Inner Creator is an act of profound faith, faith in God's Will for me as a person, and a writer.
I WILL NOT fear my creative dreams!
By following my dreams I believe doors WILL open for me, and support WILL come my way to make them happen, personally, and creatively.
I am slowly moving through my self-doubts to being the creative person I was always meant to be.
See, this is what happens when you start reading Julia Cameron...lots of thinking, and introspection. :-D
To paraphrase her advice...
I need to ignore my fears, sit up, and ignore the pain in my ankle, and knees, and just begin to write more.
Begin where I am, an apartment in Santa Ana, Ca., start from within, and the ideas bubbling up inside me.
As much as I want to conquer writing it matters more that I "Kiss it hello", nd explore my talents, and future goals, in small ways, taking one step at a time to increase awareness of my work.
As I look out the window I see a cool, and brezy afternoon, and Elvira asleep on the bed (She literally leaped at the chance to ppear in a new video on You Tube, the other day!), and Nikita asleep in the stroller.
Julia Cameron writes tht creativity is inspiration, coupled with initiative.
Getting the new tower, last week, was initiative, and the video was creative inspiration...and a little bit of luck, and timing. :-D
I believe that The great Creator is a writer, and he is a writer in partnership with me, and my dreams.
Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote that "Nothing great was ever accomplished without enthusiam."
I need to channel my enthusiams for my subjects, and interests, toward more creativity, and writing.
As Rainer Maria Rilke wrote, " I expect the gift of good, & industrious, hours."
As Julia Cameron writes, " The act of writing is a direct path to contact with God", & I can learn to experience the "Grace of Creation" in the grace of my own creating.
Whatever I think I can do I am beginning to do because action has "magic, power, and grace", in the doing.
I will learn by going where I have to go, and doing what I have to do.
Next up: Thoughts About the Future on Birthday 52...Part 3
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