...Left behind to laugh it up, take photos, and do some contemplation on the beach. ;-D
Of course, the next morning I broke my ankle chasing after a Cat in a drainage ditch. ;-D
Follow me back in time to the evening of May 21st as I head down to a popular Newport Beach look-out spot, above the beach, where I was hoping to spend the evening surviving the Rapture, and enjoying the sunset.
I wrote all of the following that evening sitting above the beach, and took 3 photos....
I arrive at Inspiration Point, at 555pm, to discover that it's a Designated Rapture Meet Up Spot, no less! ;-D
Only a handful of people, young and old, single & married, were on hand...and all were present, and accounted for at 601pm.
No-one appeared to be missing from the nearby beach, either, at least judging by the lack of excitement down there after the time had passed.
I had hoped for a clear day because the sunset, at 749pm, would have been an awesome sight as a backdrop to a photo.
It had been a few years since I was last here, & it was a time of struggle, reflection, and consideration of the future then, as well.
Everything happens for a reason they say.
Some would say that this journey I'm on right now, trying to find a new career, and even make a strong, and useful, presense in The Cat Blogosphere, is one designed by God - To lead me to the best in myself.
Am I in the midst of a life changing Spring, Summer, & Fall?
Glenn Beck would say my courage is being tested as I decided to spend the last few months learning computer skills, fixing up Meowsings, and hoping to go to the Blog Paws Convention in late August.
The easy way out of being unemployed would have been taking any old job that paid well, and not bother learning something new, and having a dream of making something special out of my creative writing talent, and blogging.
Just be a cog in the system, and forget about "poking the box".
I'm afraid, and unsure of the future, but I believe in myself, and my dream.
My guts tell me to stick with it.
I believe that my writing talents are something special, & that Meowsings is the vehicle for my expressing it, more so than what I create here.
Beck would say that my interest in Cat Blogging is a sacred sign in, and of, itself.
I've resisted doing things to make my creative dreams come true, out of fear of the unknown, using the excuses of no time, no money, and no encouragement from my family.
But friends have encouraged me, and the last year & a 1/2 led me to realize, finally...if not now, when? Do what I can to learn, and do new things that can help me reach my goals, and see where it leads me. Commit to making something unique, & original. All my working life I've punched a clock at jobs that I believed were meaningful, and profitable. They were meaningful for a while, and profitable for 2 of the companies, also for a while. Dan Miller asks "Have you made the most of the life you have?" Am I where I thought I'd be at this stage of my life? No...Make that HELL NO! Have I ever had a sense of "Calling"? Yes, in a way, ever since I re-discovered my writing talent, and took up blogging, in 2002. If nothing changed in my life over the next 5 years, would that be OK? No, not by a long shot. I believe the things I've been doing since last November will help me make sure things change, and change for the better.
Think about the last 20 years...
As Dan Miller writes "Change of all kinds has been not just accellerating, but exploding, fueled by Capitalism, and free enterprise", to the benefit of those who welcome the changes.
Over the years I've come up with all sorts of creative ideas, for my blogging, while in the shower, on a hike, on a bike ride, a bus ride, at work, while eating, sleeping, and even taking a dump. ;-D
I've embraced many of those ideas, and acted on them, and have gotten myself to this point by doing so.
Am I destined to be a clock puncher again? A cog in the traditional workplace, awaiting yet another lay-off?
Or am I destined to do something different?
I can't be afraid that the answer may be yes to Door #2.
I don't think I've been making the most of the life that I have.
I once thought I was destined to work in a bookstore all my life...but that only turned out to be 17 years.
I think my last job, at Verizon, in a cubicle answering phone calls all day long, was all about just a paycheck because, after almost 6 years, my soul had finally had enough, leading to my having a seizure in May 2010.
I am a gifted writer, skilled at writing essays, stories and poems, though I could learn ways to do so even better.
I can't help but believe I am destined to do more with that gift, & skill, than I have up to now, even use that talent to make a difference.
I spent 6 years doing something unconnected to my talents, and interests, and values, and spent the last year of that time, tired, and very unsatisfied.
Who am I, & where do I go from here?
Do I try to create my own work, something no-one, or very few, have tried before?
They say it's never too late to change careers, to re-invent yourself.
According to Thomas Edison If I did all the things I'm capable of I'd literally astound myself.
That's all I need...to give myself a heart attack! ;-D
Barbara Sher says, "It's only too late if you don't start now."
_________________
By the time I finished writing all that in my notepad it was getting too dark to write, and so I headed home, feeling good about myself after unburdening my thoughts for a blog post the next day.
Of course, the next day I broke my ankle, and hadn't thought of the above until this afternoon. ;-D
I've got a few more weeks, or more, of recovery, am uncertain of attending Blog Paws, though still determined to do so, and have a very uncertain future beyond that...
Who am I?
Where do I go from here?
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