Meet the First Squirrel.
Leader of the Community of Squirrels who have the run of the grounds of the White House and, by extension, the Head Squirrel of the United States of America.
Rachel Lucas was dissed by one as a child, and her thinking on the subject has been affected ever since.
She thinks the little darlings are ASSHOLES. ;-D
She writes:
"As the years passed, I’ve grown to heartily loathe the little bastards...
I could write an opus about squirrels in my birdfeeders, hanging upside down, flinging seeds all over the place, scaring off the birds, in general being the little assholes that they are."
Now, I don't know about Squirrels in HER neck of the woods, but when I visited my Uncle in Va., last spring, the critters on HIS property were polite, and respectful, toward those with whom they shared access to the Birdfeeder with, patiently staying away until the birds had their fill, and left the vacinity of the munchies.
The City Squirrels, unlike their more rural cousins, were more daring, but were hardly acting like assholes in their encounters with humans. ;-D
I saw plenty of Squirrels in Washington DC, last spring, and it was quite fascinating.
The little guy in the 1st photo came through the gate, where I was kneeling, right up to my camera, as I was fiddling with something on it, and by the the time I was ready to take more pictures, had taken some steps on the sidewalk, then dashed back onto the grass.
There they were, on the north lawn of the White House, scampering about, doing whatever such important squirrels do all day.
There appears to be a whole Squirrel "Shadow Government" in DC. ;-D
At least two varieties of them can be seen anywhere there are grass and trees in the Capitol, and surrounding suburbs, and they will sometimes accept food from the human officials, or even ordinary citizens
Whether these handouts constitute bribes, for some favor, or another, I'm not qualified to judge.
I also saw a squirrel dash from one side of Pennsylvania Ave. to the other on some important errand, during rush hour, near the famous Willard Hotel, just down the street from the White House.
Anyway, back to Rachel:
Never have I felt such an urge to murder an animal as I feel it when I see a squirrel dangling from a birdfeeder - even the ANTI-SQUIRREL birdfeeders.
They’re just that crafty.
And crafty usually means evil; we all know that.
I will even admit that I have broken the law in the past because of squirrels, when I used my ex’s pellet pistol within city limits to shoot squirrels down from our birdfeeder.
I never killed one but there is only one reason for that and it’s that I wasn’t strong enough to pump the pellet gun enough times for killing velocity after factoring in the distance from my window to the target. All I could get was about five pumps in that thing, only enough to stun the little fuckers.
Okaaay... ;-D
She even claims to have video evidence for her views.
Now, um, I watched the video, and do you know what I thought as I watched it?
This was Exhibit A for what would happen if the Presidential Candidates were Squirrels, and met in a Debate. ;-D
See the video, and read more on Rachels views on Squirrels, here. (And add to the 100+ comments her post has generated so far.) ;-D
Now, if you will excuse me, I need to go tell my cat, Nikita, that she also thinks CATS are Assholes, too. ;-D
Thanks to Rachel I expect him to return to blogging by Sunday ;-D
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