Someone on a Message Board over at the OC Register website once asked the following question:
How about relating the Bible to what we see in the TV Guide every week?
Then had a field day with examples:
You want desperate housewives? Bible's got'm!
You want the Apprentice? Bible's got'm!
You want Everybody Loves Raymond? - Bible's full of SitComs!
You want porn? - Bible's got it. Except you'll have to accept that this is a loving relationship and not an exploitive one.
You want daytime soaps? Yup, just what the doctor ordered!
You want History Channel?
How about Food Network?
How about Discovery?
American Chopper might be tough, but HEY! It does a pretty good job with the 'deadliest catch'. ;-D
Yes my friends, it's all there in the Holy Bible. Just for the askin! Of course it does take a bit more focus than TV.
Thank You, Mr. Malone, for the inspiration!
You want the Military Channel, or Oliver North's War Stories? The Bible is awash in blood, and gore!
You want Court TV? The Bible has The Greatest Trial Ever Adjudicated!
You want C-Span, or better yet, the raucus British Parliament, or the Political talk fests? The Bible has Politics galore!
You want your MTV, Nashville Network or, better yet, Trinity Broadcasting? The Bible has songs galore, but it's mostly of a religious nature.
You want the Travel Channel? In the Bible just about everyone is going somewhere other than where they're at!
You want the Weather Channel? Bring your Umbrella, and a sturdy boat! Not to mention making sure your Earthquake Insurance is up to date!
You want Animal Planet? Lots of nature in the Bible!
You want the WWF, and ESPN? The Bible has running, and wrasslin'!
You want National Geographic? The Bible provides cultures galore!
You want The Sci-fi Network? Non-believers think the Bible is one big fantasy.
You want The Learning Channel? Believers swear by the lessons they say the Bible teaches those who wish to learn.
You want The Biography Channel? The Bible has the scoop on a ton of personalities!
You want Cavuto, or the Wall St. Journal Report? The Bible talks Money, and Taxes!
You want BET? The Bible has the token black folk to placate Brothers Jesse and Al. It even has lots of Slaves for the Reperations Crowd to try to get money for their possible descendents.
You want KMEX and Galavision?
The Bible has lots of folks that were considered Illegal Immigrants by those who didn't believe in the Hebrew God who the interlopers said told them the occupied territory was the Land of Opportunity. ;-D
You want to know if I ran out of ideas?
Um... Yup! ;-D